“It is not good that man should be alone.” In today’s Gospel, Jesus reaffirms what we heard in the first reading from the book of Genesis: “This as last is bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. Therefore, a man leaves his father and mother, joins his wife, and the two shall become one.” In answering the Pharisees’ question about divorce, Jesus refers back to God’s original plan for man, before sin entered the world. When God made woman for man, he didn’t go back to the dust from the earth where he made ma, but he made woman from the rib of man. It’s been said, “from his rib to be alongside man, as his equal and his partner, from near his heart to be loved by man, and from under his arm to be protected by man.” From the beginning of creation man and woman were created for each other, to complete each other. The Greek philosopher, Plato, once wrote about marriage: “that man and woman are but half of their normal size. Genuine happiness only arrives when the two find each other and marry. Thus, they help each other reach full growth.”
I can only speak from a man’s point of view, but I believe most men can remember back to when we were teenagers and first began to recognize the girls: and we thought to ourselves, like Adam: “Yes, God’s creation is good.” And then later on when you met your spouse for the first time and you begin to feel like Adam, that something’s been missing, that you’re not complete. And you begin to yearn for that fullness.
As a deacon, I’ve had the privilege of officiating several weddings, and I’m sure anyone who’s been to a wedding can attest to the joy between two people when they are first united in matrimony and become one. An even greater joy is an elderly couple celebrating an anniversary. I recently saw on the news a couple who had just celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary. Now that’s a true testament to the bond of Holy Matrimony. Marriage was instituted by God and made it Holy from the very beginning. Christ too considered it sacred, and raised to the level of a sacrament. Christ refers to the bond of marriage, as equal to the bond between himself and the Church. The Gospel of Mark tells us: “Husbands must love their wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her. Husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves himself, for no one hates his own body, but nourishes it and tenderly cares for hit, just as Christ does for the Church.”
My wife and I recently celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. My wife’s not here today, so I feel I can talk about her; but after 25 years of marriage, I can honestly say that my wife is truly part me, not just my better half, but part of me, heart and soul, and I don’t know what I’d do without her.
Getting back to the Gospel, the Pharisees question to Jesus was about divorce, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” in Jesus’ time, divorce was very common, a divorce could be written up for nearly any reason. And not much has changed in 2000 years. Statistics show that more than half of marriages today end in divorce. We have to face that divorce is a fact of life in today’s society. Many people say marriage is finished. Many people today prefer simply to live together without the complications of marriage, and when they get tired of each other, simply go their separate ways again. And a growing number of people want to redefine marriage so it doesn’t even require being male and female. This was definitely not in God’s original plan, and divorce was not in his original plan.
Man became imperfect when sin entered the world. Sin is the root of all evil. Most marriages fail due to the inability to form a sacred and lasting union due to the effects of sin in the world; and not necessarily due to the sin of either of the individuals. Sometimes, for man and varied reasons, divorce is the logical and necessary resolution to an unhealthy or destructive relationship. In those cases, we have to ask: “Was the marriage truly a sacramental marriage to begin with?” “Were the two truly joined in God’s graces?” “Or did they lack the ability to enter into a total self-giving commitment?” The result is that the church has what is called an annulment process, a process that searches out those deep flaws in a failed marriage and is able to declare that the couple had not really entered into the true sacrament of matrimony.
More often than not, however; failed marriages are the result of sin. Marriage in today’s society is often taken very lightly, and often with the preconception that it will eventually fail. That’s why the Church greatly frowns upon pre-nuptial agreements. But it’s our sins that keep interfering with God’s intention for us.
When Jesus answered the Pharisees question about divorce, he said that Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of our hearts. Sins of selfishness. Most loving couples, at some time, forget the words of love that came so easily on their wedding day. They begin to see themselves as individuals, and not as one. They forget that they complete and fulfill one another. They stop putting the other first. But the greater sin is just give up and not even try to regain that completeness.
The good news for us here today is that statistics show that only 1 in 57 marriages end in divorce among couples who worship at church regularly. Or to quote an old saying: “The family that prays together, stays together.”
Adam, despite being surrounded by every gift from God was lonely and incomplete until God gave him Eve. I think most couples can relate, for the married couples here today: today’s society desperately needs our example of a good Christian, sacramental marriage.
Scripture tells us that God is love, and those who live in love, live in God, and God lives in them.